Bigger On The Inside

Written by More Or Les
Leslie Seaforth (SOCAN)

VERSE ONE:
It was a type
Forty Mark three T-A-R-D-
I-S, awfully gorgeous. Called me
to her to leave my home world and I
could not resist, so I said Goodbye
to Boredom. Started her up, started exploring the
universe - time-and space, because the ship can do the
two of 'em. (The) Alien race that I'm a part of's into
ruling 'em - well, more like overseeing. And that was my
problem: being unable to experience anything,
due to “noninterference” (rules). Not in the spirit of livin'.
So my mission: live life to the fullest.
Easily accomplished, wit this magic trick I'm pulling called
Regeneration. Recover from any fatal wound,
but my personality changes with my appearance too.
From holding a walking stick to a recorder, playing tunes;
reversing polarity flows; wearing a scarf six meters too long;
real strong cricket game; sneaky plans too
fantastic to simply say "allons y" to.
Ramble everywhere and get into trouble quite swiftly,
for nine-hundred years of adventure - but feels like fifty!

CHORUS:
My ship travels through space and time, and is bigger on the inside (3 x’s)
My ship travels through space and time, and is bigger…

VERSE TWO:
...due to Trans dimensional Physics. I'm planning to visit
every possible world if I'm given the opportunity,
but the one I see most often is Earth.
Of all the ones aliens wanna’ take over, it's the first
on their list. And since Time can be rewritten,
I will fight to keep a heart and time piece tickin’
with no guns. No fun for some. Me? I'd rather use
my brain, two hearts, and sonic screwdriver to kill no one.
Show up not always where I wanna’ go but need to go
even though I set the correct coordinates, “insubordinate
machine!” Stumble upon a scene, reveal an evil scheme,
topple a whole regime just in time for tea
at Breakfast – ‘cause it's a time machine - you never have to wait for
Breakfast! Lest I stress it: yes, it's best if
you let me drive - a causal nexus wrecked is
cause to get upset, with Reapers next to flex, since --

CHORUS:
My ship travels through space and time, and is bigger on the inside (4 x’s)

VERSE THREE:
Time Lord renegade from the planet Gallifrey,
always on the run, escape death traps, and left back
aliens on earth get saved. But usually impress a human and gain
a companion traveling wit me - stay in that old ship that's
disguised itself as a police box made on twentieth century Earth. No change:
Chameleon circuit is to blame. Guess that's just left at
that form forever. Endeavour to better the whole of Space and never surrender
to cosmic offenders, no matter they’re men or giant salt and pepper shakes.
Great that they never got into the ship,
'cause the TARDIS state of grace is always on the fritz,
and the Eye of Harmony getting ripped open is a hitch
nobody wants – every sun exploding stops a lotta stuff
from happening. Run a ship, but not the captain - a
Doctor: the man who makes people better. Don't bother
to ask for my name, it’ll never be spoken. Better off to
ask if it's cool to wear a Fez. The answer is "yes"!

CHORUS:
My ship travels through space and time, and is bigger on the inside (4 x’s)


© Leslie Seaforth 2013.